im pretty sure bromance is the perfect example of how embarrassingly fragile masculinity is. you know what a female bromance is called? a friendship
Think about the first name you were ever called,
and then think how long it took until
you got called a pussy
or a slut,
or a bitch,
or a whore,
all of which are words that fall too close to ‘girl.’
Think about the first time you got called a ‘girl’
and they said it with a sneer.
Like it was a bad thing.
For a boy, it is the lowest degradation to get called a girl.
For a girl, it is the lowest degradation to get called a girl.
Remember, black widow spiders and female praying mantises eat their partners after intercourse.
Remember, it’s the lionesses who hunt.
They come back with bloody muzzles, dragging bloated carcasses as the alpha lion strides around with his mane puffing out.
Remember, it’s only the female mosquitoes who drink blood.
We’re the ones who do the necessary work, dirty our hands,
fuck or fight or both.
We’re often the smaller sex, which makes us a harder target
as we slink close and sink our teeth in.
Remember: we’re deadly.
You should be proud to be called a girl.
To anyone who is having a bad day, I give you this hamster wearing a flower hat.
do twins ever realize one of them was unplanned
As a twin yes we do. We also argue over who was the “buy one” and who was the “get one free”.
There needs to be a bar or club or something that when you walk in there’s a rack of different color wristbands with words like “I’m looking for-“
- no one
So that everyone would know who’s looking for who.
"Hey that girl is cute. And her wristband says she’s also looking for a girl. Sweet!”
"He’s cute, but his wristband says girls. Oh well."
you are the future
Rae: “I just can’t eat in front of people.”
Stacey: “Why not?”
Rae: “Well, because, if I eat unhealthy food, then people will think ‘Oh, look at that fat cow. No wonder she got to that size,’ and if I eat healthy food, then they think ‘Well, who’re you trying to kid, love? You didn’t get to that size by eating salads.’”
tell white men they look too serious
tell them to smile
tell them if they don’t want to get made fun of they should have thought of that before they left their house
tell them girls will be girls anytime they complain about our behavior
yawn dramatically when they talk
walk away from them mid-sentence
anytime they come to a decision that concerns only them, make sure they’ve really thought about from all angles. Play devils advocate.
interrogate them on all their choices, demand answers! demand justifications!
take up the whole sidewalk and make them walk around you
explain obvious things to them. speak slowly and enunciate.
feign kindness and then yell at them if they don’t give you money in return. tell them they owe you.
trip them and then yell at them when they get mad about it
tell them how cute they are when they’re angry
tell them to stop being so emotional
tell them to learn how to take a joke
tell them they’re a kill joy